life cycle

life is so unfair, well who said it was these days i so do not lk feel lk myself. its so unfair to watch ppl get or do what they want while you are just a big loser staying in the (bleep)back every(bleep)1moment yr all happy the next moment you feel lk(feces) the next i dont know whats wrong but i do know things arent frickin clicking the way they are suppose2.home is just so borin my mom always gettin on my neck they never listen 2 me i always feel distant my sister well she cares but will say it dosnt matter or it isnt serious i guess i want more,what i imagine in my head day and night what i want to happen images i create everyday praying that one day just one day one of my images would come true lk my mom askin me how was school and tlkin lk bff not the devil wears parada and my dad just stop naggin about me doin what im suppose 2 do i no what im suppose 2 do from wrong and right well maybe im tryin 2 train myself from bad habbits or tryin 2 figure thinz out before,or my sister actin her age ,or bein lk the smart kids who are always 90 average students and passin the hell out of math,or have my friends quit bein painz,or doin somethin i dearly luv with all my heart and some1 not bein so negative dat would bring me down,or the pretty grl with a hot body lk halle berry or jessica alba,even more the guy i have adore for over a year 2 finally notice and tellin him what i always wanted to tell him i will alwayz be hiz friend and never liked him for hiz lks but brains and the kidness he gave dat was so shockin at a point i was in luv or maybe and tell him i didnt plan this i guess he happen 2 be what i found interstin and lked about a perfect 10 guy and how i dont hate him for havin a girlfriend but actually happy for him and her,im neither jelous. 2 tell her shes lucky to have him and wish them the best of lucks.that no matter what i will always be a friend and never in life would i force, but his freindship was the greatest gift ever, and finally doin no wrong purely good no bad so one day god would accept me from the good deeds i did on his earth,im not close to perfection and pray he would accept me for whom i am not what i have become these are the images of my crazyest imagintion hopefully 1 day it will happen.(tears)btw letz just say i have a diffrent world in my head like a movie or scenes,or even episodes i created well i have a good day u guyz (smiles)